My Publications
This anthology is about the idea of identity and belonging. How it intersects and defines. How it divides and makes everything in your own lived reality more complicated. It's based of my own personal experience of belonging in Jersey, Channel Islands where I was born and lived most of my life. While also belonging so much in Brighton, due to my social life, my hobbies, a greater formation of my sense of self and identity. Also though, some relations to the Philippines where my mum is from and I have some heritage.
The first chapter is focussed on my life, experiences and belonging in Brighton, the second on much the same, but in Jersey . While the third chapter is focussed more on the general sense of belonging where I, and in turn we all find and make our own homes, no matter location, social groups or anything else.
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This anthology is one of personal reflection, and in it I hope you may find areas and pieces of which you can somewhat relate to.
The first chapter (Reflection) is one of great reflection about me, my social circles, feelings, love, care, hurting and suffering. What parts of me are so persistent in this life, though dark, its important to recognise these parts rather than let them seethe, fester and bleed without any recognition, continuing until you let them free.
The second chapter (Trials) is reflective still, but looking back on specific memories and general feelings, of the trials I’ve faced and the feelings I’ve felt. While the third chapter is finding meaning in the suffering that so often is life, but nevertheless I survive and make it by.
Continuing on, nevertheless, despite untold levels of strife. Somehow I’m getting by. Not only getting by, but still finding occasional beautiful oases of the beauty that is life.
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This anthology is a piece of work about the highs and lows, the journeys of caring and loving someone. It doesn’t really matter in what way, in the type of relationship, though the poems are from my own perspective in time and moment, the key aspects can be transferred into any relationship how it drifts through this reality in which we call life. I hope you can take some lessons, or at the very least in the feelings expressed take what little comfort in knowing even when you feel so alone, you aren’t. There’s a world of people who understand somewhat, you’re connected with so many others, that you won’t ever know.
Chapter 1 looks at love, caring and its expression, remembrance and feelings associated. The second chapter focuses on caring for another; not in the happy sense, but caring when someone else needs a helping hand. The third chapter focuses on internal feelings related to caring, the ups and downs, uncertainty and anxiety. The fourth and final chapter looks at a variety of different aftermaths, from falling into despair, anxiety, realising true caring nature, introspection and realisation.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This anthology is a summary of living in a generation, post-Baby Boomers where you’re taught everyone can succeed if you work hard, try your best and make, not a life of abundance, but enough.
Having gone through what little I have of life, learning that this isn’t how life works. It’s more cruel, stacked all against you. This book of poetry looks at working-class struggle, difficulty in living in a capitalist world, which is the beginning of all the world’s problems; from war, ableism, sexism, racism, greed and competition, selfishness and ‘following orders’ all against living kind, living well and living with love at your core.
Chapter 1 (Hope) looks at the hope once held, for what the world could be, the good moments in life, and a little about its shift as you grow older, and more cynical and pessimistic when you’re learning how the world truly works. Chapter 2 (Loss) goes further into the impact of the loss of hope, suffering and seeing the world for how it truly is, in direct contrast to how you had hoped everything could be. Chapter 3 (Revolution) is more angry and defiant in tone, being sick and tired with the world in which we’ve come to live in, and its many injustices.
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Written in a time of turmoil— though I have to question is there a time I’m not in turmoil? It confronts the many difficulties with life, trying to just barely get by. Life in the many ways asks for so much of you, I hope this book offers a little break and acknowledgement of what you have accomplished, something we often don’t offer to ourselves. This break and time to reflect on how much you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve gotten.
The first chapter Life looks at different aspects of merely living life, how it’s been difficult, and challenging but you’ve persisted despite everything placed in your path.
The second chapter Love looks at much the same, but with a focus on not the self, but relations with others whether it would be romantic or otherwise, it’s difficult in so many ways much as life is overall. Love offers several different, but similar but unique challenges to the things you go through throughout life.
The third chapter Recovery focuses on just that, recovering, and learning to be content with yourself, despite being myself far from there too, I’ve written most of the poems in this chapter in random and infrequent moments of clarity, recovering, choosing to recover, finding yourself again, caring for another so much you find peace within your own mind and come to terms with love, loss, sorrow and depression.
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This anthology was a very dark one to write, I was in a very dark place. It comes with a single takeaway, that you’re not alone, especially when you feel it. Life will get better, just like I’m telling myself, I’m telling you, not with certainty, but knowing you (and I for that matter) may regret it if you don’t at least try to find out.
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This anthology is a story of learning to feel human, embracing feeling after numbing your heart to everything at all. A story of love for another, and realising what love is to bring it for your own very self. No matter what. Love for yourself, needs to be core throughout it all.
The first chapter, Lost, looks back upon darkness and scars previously left upon your soul. The second chapter, Now, looks at the process of learning and its associated confusion and journey. While the final chapter Feeling Human, is the culmination of lessons gradually and painfully learnt about feeling human, accepting its warmth as it grows throughout your soul.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This chapbook is a book of love poetry, embodying a lived moment for half a year, living and loving and caring for someone, though perhaps it never works out. It’s about care beyond love, before attachment. It’s about loving another more than can be comprehended.
Even by your own self.
You feel it in your heart, every moment you hear from them, wanting to share talents, gifts, your ear, your enthusiasm and interests, to be there always. I’d put myself in the darkest place, if it meant I could spare you from darkness. Then it’d be totally worth it, and despite all difficulty, I’d live and tackle it with a glad tear in my eye.
It’s a feeling you can never forget, your heart and soul shall remember, the times may pass, but you always shall remember, an engraving has been left upon your heart.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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Paperback (to be confirmed)
This book, and the title; Tenebrae Viventes Cicatrices Manifestae, which is Latin for Living Darkness: Scars Made Known. Especially as a lot of the names in Star Wars are based in Latin. It’s a story of my own sinking into darkness, despair, sadness, hatred, loss and being lost. The first chapter Learning (Doctrina in Latin) is about learning pain, loss, hurt and darkness. Based on those experiences when you are learning to live those dark and difficult times. Fighting with yourself to realise. The second chapter Ways (Viarum in Latin) is about the process of the feelings that press upon your heart as the darkness chokes against the light and the way in which we all may try to go about living our lives. The final chapter Of Living (Viventium in Latin) is a chapter is about the process of learning to live with the darkness, a chapter that has in itself ups and downs, as come with the process of learning to live, fight and continue alongside the darkness, no matter how big or small we may face on a day-to-day basis.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This here, is a book about learning to feel human again. After for so long only knowing loss and numbness, a realisation of something that has been going on for a long time and to me unknown.
Losing my humanity, bit by bit, scar by scar, etching away at my heart. Until there had only been left a husk. I’ve met a little soul of pure beauty, not without colossal difficulty as happens for all of those most kind souls.
It’s a story of learning to live and love again and not merely scrape-by and survive.
The first chapter, Lost, looks back upon darkness and scars previously left upon your soul. The second chapter, Now, looks at the process of learning and its associated confusion and journey. While the final chapter Feeling Human, is the culmination of lessons gradually and painfully learnt about feeling human, accepting its warmth as it grows throughout your soul.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This poetry book is what I think about the process of creativity, my own creativity through my outlets of photography (Ch.1 - Sight), poetry (Ch.2 - Mind), the process of creativity itself (Ch.3 - Create) and the world in which we can find beauty, everyday, in any place; whether it is an urban rundown bus stop, a pristine landscape, your local park, the city-centre or anywhere else, so long as you’re willing to take some time, pause, and witness it (Ch.4 - Beauty).
I hope with this you find your own path of creativity which we all have or have yet to find. I encourage you to create, you all to create; it matters not if no one sees it, likes it, or picks it up, so long as it helps you. No matter in what form it takes, from playing D&D, painting figurines, or any other ‘traditional’ art form.
In the good times and the bad. Whether you feel that you can go on, or not. Create through troubles and trials, create, make, whatever form it may take, and set yourselves free. Use creation to help you find peace, your own variety of peace, daily.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This book of poetry is an acknowledgement of a fact that I have come to learn, that despite the aches and struggles and difficulties abound. The most scarred, discarded and destroyed and tormented hearts are the most beautiful. For they’ve survived all this, and somehow come to stand, keep beating, remaining living.
The first chapter, ‘A Past Still Here' confronts the past, the difficulties, scars and torment suffered at others’ hands, but also at my own for being as one said ‘too kind’, I’ve come to learn it wasn’t being too kind, but believing too much in the kindness of others, even if they don’t show you any. The second chapter ‘What is This?’ focuses on newfound love, feelings and the development from the trauma and scars of the past, learning lessons from those mistakes, though making new ones of my own at this time, a mixup of love and loss and hurt. The third and final chapter ‘Perhaps Hope’ is learning of difficulty, lessons from the past, learning to hope for more and better again, though knowing, mistakes will be made, I’ll be hurt again but I’m growing from what I had been and am trying to be the best, kind person that I can be.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This book of poetry is a reminiscent journey so far recounting a friend and family member, not related by blood, but by more than blood. By love, care and struggle. This book of poetry is one of contemplation, mourning, recalling and learning to live with and to come to terms with grief, loss and betrayal, from someone who I considered my sister, and will probably love endlessly until my end of days.
The first chapter, 'Beytrayal' focuses on heartache, loss, and hurting without any prospect at this time for recovery. The second chapter 'Recovery' focuses on a journey to recovery, being kind to oneself, to reconcile the pain and hurt you have felt and to learn to take life as it is, recovering, step by step, a long but not impossible process. The final chapter 'To my Soul' looks at being left to realise the part someone has had to play in my own development, my own creation of a sense of self. At the same time, the need to care for oneself, be kind to oneself, to heal, recover and move on.
I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive their betrayal, and I think my heart will take it to my grave, but I still care about them and wish them all the best.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This is the third and final book in the series; 'Always Remember', the journey so far recounts love, care and compassion, next came a deep darkness, my own mental health declining and sending myself further into the dark. This book recounts realisation, love, self-care and recovery, reconciling my own feelings, experiences and emotions.
The first chapter, 'First Comes Pain' focuses on healing, but first with healing comes the pain, overcoming the worst of the sadness and darkness once felt, a start; though a difficult one, in order to recover. The second chapter 'Just Try and Survive' focuses on survival, the start of this journey to recover, being kind to oneself, to reconcile the pain and hurt you have felt, but also why you have to forgive yourself and cannot be too hard on yourself. The final chapter 'Left to Realise' looks at being left to realise one's own value, self-love and care, forgiveness and to remember the difficult times in the past, lessons to be learnt, but to take care of one's own heart.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This is the second book in the series 'Always Remember', with love and care this book of poetry recounts the darkness I fell into, suffered from, with loss, my own mental health anguish, anxiety and difficulties, even pushing myself towards darkness and this recounts this journey.
The first chapter, 'Pain' focuses on pain, loss, and the pain I felt battling my own mental health all the while love and loss. The second chapter 'Darkness' looks at the deepening hopelessness and darkness felt within my own head and heart sinking deeper and deeper, all lost and sadness with no way out, only suffering. The final chapter 'End' looks at the worst of everything, losing hope, losing happiness and having forgot what it felt like and it is all just numbing.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This is the first book in a series, about love, loss and darkness following with self-healing.
This first book of poetry looks at love, mental health, anxiety, loving someone dearly, caring about them so very much, but also by the end of it, losing myself to the feeling of love, care and their beauty in totality.
The first chapter, 'Fell Totally for a Damaged Soul' focuses on love, care, compassion and recounting the time when I truly fell in love with a beautiful, kind, but damaged, but always-so-sweet soul. The second chapter 'Always Remember Your Shine' looks again, at love, my own mind writing, trying to convince them to love themselves, recounts all the wishes of mine for them to take care, and how I would always be there for them. The final chapter 'Lost Myself to the Feeling' looks at feeling lost, and losing myself to the feeling of love and care, before my very eyes, watching as I fall down a slope into darkness, myself, being helpless but watch.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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Tales of Malice, Apathy and Abandonment is a greatly personal collection of poetry about demons, trauma, grief, healing and recovery. It tells the tale of a person making their way through life, encountering three demons; each providing scars and traumas and lessons to be learnt. Each demon has been given a name, each a real person I've known throughout my life, and have been left with scars. This collection shows the horrible nature of trauma and reliving scars, but also that recovery can be found through hardworking, hard times, an amount of time and self care, compassion and leaving demons out of your own life.
The first chapter, 'Malice' focuses on human cruelty, manipulation, gaslighting and isolating you from all those you know and care about until the demon is all you can seek help from, right where they want you. The second chapter 'Apathy' focuses on a demon met, who loved and cared, but then dropped when they ran out of use for you, a lack of care for any harm caused, a lack of human kindness and compassion, self-interest at its pinnacle, truly heartless in a lack of humanity. The third chapter 'Abandonment' focuses on family, friends, people whom you love and care for, but they don't care enough, abandoning you, hurting you, leaving you in your darkest time. The final chapter 'I Am What Is Left' focuses on living life after these demons, recovery, relived trauma, continued scars, self-care, lessons learnt from the demon and rebuilding your own life, finding beauty in your life and learning to take care, continue to be kind and not let the demons harden your heart and turn your soul cold as the demons'.
This is a highly personal piece, looking at demons who spanned 10 years of my life, I hope you can console, feel pain, learn to heal, care for yourself and not feel so alone when reading this. Remember you are of value and a person deserving care, no matter what your very own demons may say.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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This anthology is the first edition of a yearly publication for the Aro/Ace Poetry Anthology and has been made as a collaboration with other poets on the aromantic and asexual spectrum with the aim of spreading awareness, diversity and claiming a voice from a community not often heard of or from, to express and celebrate our community. To show beauty and hardship and value through their own expressive voices, all while hoping to raise money for AVEN (the Asexual Visibility and Education Network).
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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Only Connection is a poetry collection written regarding demisexuality (attraction only with prerequisite deep connection) and how it has interacted with others, society at large and within myself personally. The poetry in this collection, covers love, loss, questioning societal norms and one's own identity.
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Demisexuality, especially being a somehow controversial aspect of asexuality, garnering opposition from asexuals, LGBT community and the non-LGBT alike. It's a term that has given me great relief from mental health anguish that I have suffered my whole life, when being so different to the norm, but until now being able to explain it, but not have a term to sum it up.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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Ghosts linger, stories of sadness, nostalgia and pain
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Ghosts of the Past, they linger, leaving scars on our bodies and minds. This collection seeks to give validation to those who've suffered trauma, who are still haunted by the ghosts of the past. Ghosts of the Past is the sequel to Musings of a Lost Soul. Even after trauma , growth, plight, scars remain and take their toll, nightmares plague and relive the toil. Ghosts may remain and linger from plights of the past. This is a work about growth, from which, ghosts of the past do remain. This anthology is one looking at trauma and how ghosts linger long after events have faded, we all have our own traumas and ghosts that linger and follow us. I hope that others may see parts of themselves or struggles, triumphs or even a way past their own struggles through this piece or their trauma, struggle, healing or victories or even just inspire others to make use of any art form to help with their own self-healing, development and growth.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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Living in a World When You Are So Different
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A poetry collection about autism, and the experience of living while autistic. This is an anthology that was written to express, and hopes to show an experience of autism, its multifaceted experiences of both the sense of self, others' reaction to them and societal reaction to autistic people.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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Poems from the soul, lost and trying to find itself.
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A collection of love, loss, and discovering oneself again. Poetry for the soul, for introspection and empathy, poetry of a journey through life, love, loss, and re-discovery of oneself.
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A book of poetry, a compilation of poems from a lost soul trying to find their own way in the world, themselves, even after being broken, after hardship, poetry is an escape until they are able to find themselves.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon below:
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Poems from the soul, lost and trying to find itself.
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A collection of love, loss, and discovering oneself again. Poetry for the soul, for introspection and empathy, poetry of a journey through life, love, loss, and re-discovery of oneself.
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A book of poetry, a compilation of poems from a lost soul trying to find their own way in the world, themselves, even after being broken, after hardship, poetry is an escape until they are able to find themselves.
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My book can be purchased on Amazon
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